Everything went lovely and vibrating for me just three weeks ago. But you never know what will happen next...
Have you ever experience a moment where your heart just stop, contracts so badly that you felt like you will faint any moment. Have you ever felt like your body are so stiffen that you just cannot move, helplessly gasping for fresh air.
Your body no longer answers to you. You are so shock and speechless that your body keeps pumping adrenline up to your brain making you feel sick. That's how I felt a week ago, after receiving the most devastating and unbelieveable news from my best friend in Australia.
It all started with a simply misunderstanding! Something that could be hold off if I would just be more considerate and decisive. Not being able to say a probable goodbye to someone I cherish all along is the most heartbreaking thing that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I hated myself of how I handle the situation, making a holy mess. If I could have one more change, I would do anything, and I mean "anything" to make up for my mistakes.
I regret every single moment of that scene, she cried and so did I. All I can feel is my body going numb. Everything seem to fly by in a speed of sound that I can't even get a clutch of any words she had. My brain went completely blank. Though one thing I know, is that she left............
I may seem to be bouncy and peppy on the surface but deep inside me, the guilt and shame still profoundly thickens in my heart. All I can ask for is your forgiveness, and all I can say is, I'm really sorry...I hope one day, we can see each other and until the day we meet again.....
I will always miss you.....
To my dearest friend~ If you ever decide to read this......
Have you ever experience a moment where your heart just stop, contracts so badly that you felt like you will faint any moment. Have you ever felt like your body are so stiffen that you just cannot move, helplessly gasping for fresh air.
Your body no longer answers to you. You are so shock and speechless that your body keeps pumping adrenline up to your brain making you feel sick. That's how I felt a week ago, after receiving the most devastating and unbelieveable news from my best friend in Australia.
It all started with a simply misunderstanding! Something that could be hold off if I would just be more considerate and decisive. Not being able to say a probable goodbye to someone I cherish all along is the most heartbreaking thing that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I hated myself of how I handle the situation, making a holy mess. If I could have one more change, I would do anything, and I mean "anything" to make up for my mistakes.
I regret every single moment of that scene, she cried and so did I. All I can feel is my body going numb. Everything seem to fly by in a speed of sound that I can't even get a clutch of any words she had. My brain went completely blank. Though one thing I know, is that she left............
I may seem to be bouncy and peppy on the surface but deep inside me, the guilt and shame still profoundly thickens in my heart. All I can ask for is your forgiveness, and all I can say is, I'm really sorry...I hope one day, we can see each other and until the day we meet again.....
I will always miss you.....
To my dearest friend~ If you ever decide to read this......
2 comments:
hey, dear Bloz, I understand you, cos weeks ago, I did a very damn thing on my friend too, I sent some emails to this friend to try to explain my mistake, but the more explain, the misunderstanding is deeper, and then I left this friend alone for some time, till now, I think we have a "gap" already, I regreted totaly about that damn thing, but regreting didn't work. So, I want to say:" forget it, you are both happy, I trust you can see her again.
theres no regrets....
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